The Unbolused Cookie

Embracing both the planned and the unplanned.

Community and Connection

Gabrielle Oldfield

Community and Connection
Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Recently I spoke at a women's luncheon and my topic was Community and Connection.  The focus was women and how difficult it can be to build friendships.  I'm going to take the next few posts to recap that talk in easy to digest chunks.  


Part 1


Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.


A friend loves us in prosperity or adversity, she loves us in our time of need.


Friendships are an integral part of our lives, but change dramatically as we get older.  As children, our parents make play dates as important as doctor visits.  The ability to connect with other kids is a priority.  As teens we have sports, sleepovers, endless calls, and thousands of texts.  Teens are, for the most part, intentional with their social lives.  Parents like this because the last thing we want is to feel our child is an outsider, isolated, or lonely.


Once you are an adult, things begin to change.  We are tired, overworked, and over obligated.  We say yes to too much, but not yes to the things that may fill us up and refresh us.  


If you do have a friend or group of friends, it is likely that one of those women is the "event coordinator" for the group.  They tend to do all the heavy lifting.  One of the most important things I have learned through the years is this:  I am NOT that person.  I just don't think about those things because my mind is typically consumed with a gigantic and never-ending to-do list that involves family and work.  I have also learned that I must be upfront about this and beg forgiveness in advance.   Seriously, I have to put it in my planner to remember to periodically ask a friend out for coffee or a movie or whatever.  My hope is that eventually it will become a natural state for me.  I'll let you know how that goes for me.


God, as our good Father, wants fellowship and community for us just as any parent wants this for their child.  But we have to cooperate.  We have to recognize the people that God places in front of us and accept that we really never outgrow the need for friends no matter how we may try to convince ourselves that we have.