The Unbolused Cookie

Embracing both the planned and the unplanned.

Three Ways to Feel More at Peace

Gabrielle Sharkey Oldfield

Three Ways to Feel More at Peace
Saturday, August 13, 2016

Here are three things you can start TODAY to move towards a state of peace in your life.  So many people spend so much time being angry, they never dig themselves out of it.  Consider these baby steps to lower blood pressure and better sleep at night.

1.  Don't take it personally.  

This is a biggie.  I hate to break it to you, but most of the time it is not about you.  Whatever someone did or didn't say, did or didn't do, I can almost guarantee they gave little to no thought about how it would affect you.  This isn't because they don't like you or care for you.  It is simply because first and foremost, they were too busy thinking about what was going on in their own lives.  Who doesn't?  I'm a Pastor and I will be 100% transparent with you, while I DO spend a lot of time thinking about other families and their needs...I spend a lot of time considering what MY family needs.  Sometimes those things align and sometimes they don't.  Sometimes what is best for one person may negatively affect another.  It is important to be able to separate those instances and not characterize them as personal attacks.  Would it be nice if everyone could empathize with others and their situations--ABSOLUTELY!  Just don't expect that to be the rule.  Give grace.  

2.  Do not write e-mails, texts, or make Facebook posts when you are angry.  

(And for those of my friends who think I'm talking about you, please refer back to #1.)  Once it is out there, it is out there and there is no going back.  You may feel you have justifiable righteous anger, you may have friends who encourage your tirade, but these interactions are better person to person if there is ever a hope of repair in the relationship.   I look at those cryptically caustic Facebook posts and hope that I am never on the receiving end of that person's wrath.  Is that how you want to be perceived?  Here is some free therapy advice:  Start an e-mail (but don't fill in the "TO" e-mail address), write anything and everything you would like to say to the person.  Read it.  Save it as a draft.  Read it an hour later.  Read it a couple of hours later.  Decide you temporarily lost  your mind, delete, and move on.  If you MUST interact via e-mail in a difficult situation, let it sit at least 24 hours before you hit send.  

3.  Don't make yourself a victim.

God meant for us to be overcomers, victors, and world-rocking warriors--not victims. Start making goals for yourself that are realistic, yet challenging.  This is an awesome way to move forward and not get stuck in the past.  Goals give us vision, excitement, and hope for the future.  Goals allow us to set aside what we perceive someone else is doing to us and helps us to focus on what WE are doing for ourselves.  Prayerfully ask God what He has for you and then partner with Him on it.  A sense of purpose can fill you with peace and trump the other nonsense that may be going on around you.